It has been a year since my umrah and never along this time I could write about how the journey was and how was its experience. The words are so many but the emotions are tough to be expressed.
We all know Allah swt gives us trials and sometimes He gives us the blessings and if we look closer the trials which we face are actually the hidden blessings.
The day was ending December 2014 and there was a blessing standing in front of me. I had to perform Umrah and my parents were accompanying me.
The day was ending December 2014 and there was a blessing standing in front of me. I had to perform Umrah and my parents were accompanying me.
I all along the journey saw new customs and the life was altogether surrounded by our deen. People in cars with tasbeeh, all along praising ALLAH swt and I was there witnessing all kinds of miracles.
We reached the Holy city at midnight and the first thing I heard was the ADHAAN and to be honest it shook my existence for the voice was beyond mesmerizing. I was held by mama and abu and with the crowd all around I kept thinking of the dua I would say on my first glimpse of the HOLY KAABA. One would not believe that the moment I saw it the only thing I could remember were my sins. I cried for the sins ahead of my eyes. I cried that OH ALLAH my sins are many and still you made me enter this Holy land. Ya ALLAH how could you bless me so much, YA ALLAH forgive me, for my sins are many, Ya ALLAH forgive me.
I saw people crying and asking forgiveness, crying their pain and asking for the blessing.It is a human weakness that even if he claims he is fine there are pains and sorrows beneath the smile. I never had seen my abu, my mamma crying so much. Wallah the moment was divine. I did the tawaaf for the first time and all along I felt as if there was a guidance in every path, I saw the dark sky up ahead and I knew that ALLAH swt was seeing me and he was seeing me taking the steps to what HE ordered hundreds of years ago.
The aab e zam zam took my thirst, the steps towards safa marwah took my pain. The salah I had there, I never had such salah ever before. I felt peace and contentment. The peace I search everyday but I don't get the same peace. I saw the mountains and saw them again and again for these mountains were witnessed by our beloved PROPHET pbuh. The mountains so blessed indeed.
After the nimaz abu and mamaa took me towards babul salaam gate As we walked along, mamaa showed me the hamaam of men and said it once was the house of abu jahal (an ibirat for the wrongdoers).
At the end was the blessed house that once our beloved Prophet lived in ,which is now made a library so that people wont consider it as place of worship.The time was of khuftan (late night prayer) and all were looking inside but I kept looking at the stars and I thought maybe some angels might be there and maybe they might be guarding the place. It was as if I wanted to see the miracle and yet I felt miracle wasn’t anywhere else than in front of me and I felt no cold and the breeze there brought peace,the breeze that felt was reading the tasbih.Masha Allah.
We went back to hotel and as we walked we checked the market place. All the shops had prayer rugs, abayas and the prayer hats and it was as if this place was only meant for the submission to ALLAH swt, the lights glittering across and the people heading for prayers.Our hotel had mostly Indonesian people and our room was at 8th floor, the trip to that room was even more interesting, people of varied cultures in the same lift heading for the same destination. The Indonesian government pays to the pilgrims and makes the umrah more affordable than the rest of the countries,so it was as if more Indonesian people formed the crew of pilgrims. After dinner we slept and it was the most peaceful sleep and by the late night we had to head back to HOLY KAABA for the beautiful tawaaf and the tahajud.
We went back to hotel and as we walked we checked the market place. All the shops had prayer rugs, abayas and the prayer hats and it was as if this place was only meant for the submission to ALLAH swt, the lights glittering across and the people heading for prayers.Our hotel had mostly Indonesian people and our room was at 8th floor, the trip to that room was even more interesting, people of varied cultures in the same lift heading for the same destination. The Indonesian government pays to the pilgrims and makes the umrah more affordable than the rest of the countries,so it was as if more Indonesian people formed the crew of pilgrims. After dinner we slept and it was the most peaceful sleep and by the late night we had to head back to HOLY KAABA for the beautiful tawaaf and the tahajud.
My mother never missed early morning tahajud and fajr and she was very particular about that. Papa and me had to hear scolding's everytime for waking up late, and the late waking up there was 3 am. The early morning had indeed the magic and moreover there was no time early or late. Every time people made the tawaaf and only during the nimaz tawaaf stopped. One of the uncle I met during the blessed journey (may Allah bless him) asked me that why we make the tawaaf in an anticlockwise direction. Though it was every time I saw and even I did the tawaaf I had no answer.
Let me question you people that is why we do tawaaf anticlockwise???
Let me question you people that is why we do tawaaf anticlockwise???
That time there were huge number of people all praising Allah and doing the tawaaf clad in mere white cloth and papa said it was because the month was of rabbi awwal (the month of birth of our beloved prophet).
All along there was not a single moment when I felt that I was being dragged along, I felt as if I was walking a peaceful journey amidst the crowd and amidst the huge gathering. While walking I saw birds doing the tawaaf like they knew it and like they knew it was to be done anticlockwise...the view bought so many thoughts ahead of me that yes all the living beings are divinely connected and yes the surroundings give us the indication that there is ALLAH, the one who created all...as we know from surah ar rehman kis kis naemat ko jhutlao gay ( of what of the bounties of ALLAH you will deny of ??? the bounties of prayer and the bounties of emaan.
Soon my papa said that he wanted to touch the hijr e aswad (the holy stone from heaven that takes all of your sins as you touch it).That area was the most crowded and it felt impossible. We drew closer and closer and reached the muqaam e Ibrahim. I touched it and again I felt as if my existence was a miracle and right there I saw the imprint of hazrat Ibrahim’s feet, the view was amazing for people all around in white were prostating before it the nafal rakah.As we reached to the hateem (hijr e ismaeel) I was dragged by a Palestinian lady and she made me offer the salah inside it.
The salah there is equal to the salah read inside the HOLY KAABA.I could not stop my tears for indeed I never deserved this. I never deserved to be among those people who were witnessing the miracle, the miracle of being in a place which was blessed by Allah swt and our beloved prophet pbuh. Wallah I felt as if I was seeing a miracle, especially the time I touched the HOLY KAABA.We got more closer and i could see papa moving ahead to touch the holy stone but that moment he reached just close but couldn't touch it, he missed it but back during Haj he claims and yes indeed he did touch that.
As the day ended we headed back to our hotel as the next day we had to travel to the places of mount Arafat and gaar e hira.It is place where our beloved prophet pbuh received his first revelation. We then headed to jab le noor, and it was said that at this place our prophet pbuh stood from fajr till khouftan and cried in istighfaar ( masha allah ).What it would have been we only could presume, even if I imagine it I cry a thousand sobs.The next day we had to travel to the city of peace.....al madinah...it was a travel from mekkah to madina...just like the hijra which our beloved prophet pbuh did hundreds of years ago.
As the hijra of our journey started I felt a calmness in me and so was everything around, we reached madina by night and it was all cold as compared to the climate in mekkah.We got our room and as luck our room had a small space of connection to the veranda as you can say and the view of whole city, it was a dream space.We had our dinner and laban (the curd) and headed to masjid e nabwi , and during fajr we headed inside the masjid e nabwi to have the glimpse where our beloved prophet pbuh is buried ( may Allah bless his soul and bless him and bliss him till eternity) ,that time all the women of all the ethnicities were waiting around, the crowd in immense, to have one gaze,the graze of which took my breath away.We had salah on the jannatul baqi ( the rug from heaven) there.
During the next days we had the cold phase associated with the journey to masjid e quba and masjid e qiblatein. Of the masjid e quba it is revered to be the first masjid to be in existence and one salah there is having the same ajar as that of one umrah (masha allah). The masjid e Qiblatein was referred to be of more than one qiblaah one point of time when the qibla was still Jerusalem( where now stands Masjid e Aqsa) and not Masjid e Haram ( holy Kaaba).
The moment that made my life was when we travelled to maidan e uhad where the muslim first war ( jang e uhad) took place, and the moment I saw the place where Hazrat Hamza is buried ( the place without any dome or any stone for a reference), I saw it stood as lonely as a human life.It showed me how we are here, travellers and how this life has no importance lest we understand and lest we repent.
We headed back to miqat of medina called dhul hulaifa for our next umrah back to mekkah.We reached back on Friday and that was our last day of stay, we did umrah and headed towards final tawaaf , tawaaf e vida and that tawaaf was my last tawaaf and a last view of holy KAABA.
In the last view I just realized that I don't want to go back , that I want to stay there and ask forgiveness for my whole life, that I am being separated from my soul, that this place brought me peace, that I want to die here, that I found my ALLAH.
To write about the experience in mere words is unjustified and beyond my scope, I hope I did some justice,errors if any accepted.May Allah swt bless all and bless all muslims and bless them to perform the haj and umrah before they die.
AMEEN
All along there was not a single moment when I felt that I was being dragged along, I felt as if I was walking a peaceful journey amidst the crowd and amidst the huge gathering. While walking I saw birds doing the tawaaf like they knew it and like they knew it was to be done anticlockwise...the view bought so many thoughts ahead of me that yes all the living beings are divinely connected and yes the surroundings give us the indication that there is ALLAH, the one who created all...as we know from surah ar rehman kis kis naemat ko jhutlao gay ( of what of the bounties of ALLAH you will deny of ??? the bounties of prayer and the bounties of emaan.Soon my papa said that he wanted to touch the hijr e aswad (the holy stone from heaven that takes all of your sins as you touch it).That area was the most crowded and it felt impossible. We drew closer and closer and reached the muqaam e Ibrahim. I touched it and again I felt as if my existence was a miracle and right there I saw the imprint of hazrat Ibrahim’s feet, the view was amazing for people all around in white were prostating before it the nafal rakah.As we reached to the hateem (hijr e ismaeel) I was dragged by a Palestinian lady and she made me offer the salah inside it.
The salah there is equal to the salah read inside the HOLY KAABA.I could not stop my tears for indeed I never deserved this. I never deserved to be among those people who were witnessing the miracle, the miracle of being in a place which was blessed by Allah swt and our beloved prophet pbuh. Wallah I felt as if I was seeing a miracle, especially the time I touched the HOLY KAABA.We got more closer and i could see papa moving ahead to touch the holy stone but that moment he reached just close but couldn't touch it, he missed it but back during Haj he claims and yes indeed he did touch that.
As the day ended we headed back to our hotel as the next day we had to travel to the places of mount Arafat and gaar e hira.It is place where our beloved prophet pbuh received his first revelation. We then headed to jab le noor, and it was said that at this place our prophet pbuh stood from fajr till khouftan and cried in istighfaar ( masha allah ).What it would have been we only could presume, even if I imagine it I cry a thousand sobs.The next day we had to travel to the city of peace.....al madinah...it was a travel from mekkah to madina...just like the hijra which our beloved prophet pbuh did hundreds of years ago.
As the hijra of our journey started I felt a calmness in me and so was everything around, we reached madina by night and it was all cold as compared to the climate in mekkah.We got our room and as luck our room had a small space of connection to the veranda as you can say and the view of whole city, it was a dream space.We had our dinner and laban (the curd) and headed to masjid e nabwi , and during fajr we headed inside the masjid e nabwi to have the glimpse where our beloved prophet pbuh is buried ( may Allah bless his soul and bless him and bliss him till eternity) ,that time all the women of all the ethnicities were waiting around, the crowd in immense, to have one gaze,the graze of which took my breath away.We had salah on the jannatul baqi ( the rug from heaven) there.
During the next days we had the cold phase associated with the journey to masjid e quba and masjid e qiblatein. Of the masjid e quba it is revered to be the first masjid to be in existence and one salah there is having the same ajar as that of one umrah (masha allah). The masjid e Qiblatein was referred to be of more than one qiblaah one point of time when the qibla was still Jerusalem( where now stands Masjid e Aqsa) and not Masjid e Haram ( holy Kaaba).
The moment that made my life was when we travelled to maidan e uhad where the muslim first war ( jang e uhad) took place, and the moment I saw the place where Hazrat Hamza is buried ( the place without any dome or any stone for a reference), I saw it stood as lonely as a human life.It showed me how we are here, travellers and how this life has no importance lest we understand and lest we repent.
We headed back to miqat of medina called dhul hulaifa for our next umrah back to mekkah.We reached back on Friday and that was our last day of stay, we did umrah and headed towards final tawaaf , tawaaf e vida and that tawaaf was my last tawaaf and a last view of holy KAABA.
In the last view I just realized that I don't want to go back , that I want to stay there and ask forgiveness for my whole life, that I am being separated from my soul, that this place brought me peace, that I want to die here, that I found my ALLAH.
To write about the experience in mere words is unjustified and beyond my scope, I hope I did some justice,errors if any accepted.May Allah swt bless all and bless all muslims and bless them to perform the haj and umrah before they die.
AMEEN
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