Saturday, 9 February 2019

THE ODDS OF A KASHMIRI


Why is it funny to live in Kashmir.
Every morning I wake up, I think of my life and how I am still lazy and still a winner in all my failures. Apart from criticization of myself I think of Kashmir. Has anything changed of Kashmir since my existence? 
Well to be precise it has and it hasn't. What I mean is that the way Kashmir was, it still is. It has surely changed the ways but the problem of Kashmir is still the same. Kashmir has been the biggest political issue since ages but beyond that there are issues much more dangerous that one neglects. We deal up with many issues than any person around the globe could ever deal with (and then we still manage to have red cheeks).We are people who sustain political anarchy and blasphemy. We have political parties who don’t know what they are doing. They can comment on topics related to toffee to qabr ka azaab. They are best in the world who have great talents of action, romance and comedy. They act to defame opposition, romanticize fiction and are people full of comedy of errors. Their agenda is 'kursi’ baaki jayay baad may. 
Our days are always interesting; from nagging of errors of others to seeking the report on embezzlement we have our officers always on duty and always in headlines. In near future we can watch them fight live on TV provided snow gets cleared which they claim was cleared by their shovel.Our roads are mess yet we drive amidst odds. We know how to survive without electricity, our modern-day usage still remains kangri and pheran. We still check our neighbors for blessing called electricity. Other states have endangered species, we have endangered necessities. We have survived floods and earthquakes and snow with no arrangements and we have survived hartals and curfews. We have lived amidst bomb blast, teargas firings and pellets. While the rest of the people ask others of their cultural background and living, we are constantly asked of article 370, 35a. Well this means "Our land is our land, none of your land". Even with this land, I feel we are deprived of basic right of living. 
Our timetables work on JRL calendar and our studies are mostly negligible. Sometimes I feel we are intellectually great but lack of resources makes us wander to unemployment. I wonder why we have no great achievements but then I realize while the 60 percent of our youth are busy in shopping and marriages, the rest are busy playing pubG and tick tok. 
The question still remains if Kashmiri's face unemployment how come we survive?
Well we have makeup by rubeena, jabeena ,haleena and for guys we have boutique by fayaz, ayaz, niyaz and for wealthy people we have Grandeur marriage halls , Splendid  marriage halls. Our source of income is wedding and our life revolves around this majaal hae ki hum waqt zaya karay on invention or discovery jaisi pagal cheezo pai.
While the youth is busy in this, some of our elders are busy nagging and gossiping about others without realizing that by back-biting the deeds are just given to the one we gossiped about. We Kashmiris are just good at jibes. 
Being a Kashmiri is fun because even with these vices we still have a great heart. We love our guests and we try to be the best host we could be. We love our family, we love our Kashmir. We have seen terror to the closest, yet choose to live with pride and smile.
Amidst all these odds if we smile, then know that we have endured much and accepted the ill fate with the greatest positivity.

For others they sell commodities, and we
We sell blood,
Our mothers have eyes dried up for
Crying all night for the loss of their sons
We have pens lifted more to encounter deaths
that next sentence, always in arrival
Meanwhile Ashfaq is no more. Maqbool has gone. Asiya and Neelofar, raped then killed. Afzal hanged. Tufail, buried in two graves. The Ittar seller in Lal chowk disappeared. They found bones and they found skull
For all we wait is freedom, every Friday is for our hope of Azadi.
Jhelum washes so many evils every day, every Friday amidst bunkers
In downtown and New City we search life.
In Kashmir love is unending wait of the disappeared
Every Friday is for hope that he returns
she leaning against rusted fence looking
Aimlesslessly at the stars, wondering her fate.
And every other day,
the Jhelum splashes as if crying.
Every day fresh blood soaks women’s nested veils
and men's scrawling silences.
Every day we cry in silence , we cry for our Azaadi
We cry for our loved ones to be able to live.
We cry for our life.

Well long story short I wrote this without electricity around and for the one who said I don’t write anymore. Hope he finds it interesting 😊. 



Image Courtesy : __alif 
“Our Land is Our land None Of Your Land” courtesy : Rizwan Rasheed 

Friday, 10 August 2018

Alam -e- Duniya


Kyun Ziyaan Kaar Banun, Sood Framosh Rahun
Fikr-e-Farda Na Karum, Mahw-e-Ghum-e-Dosh Rahun
Naale Bulbul Ke Sunoon, Aur Hama Tan Gosh Rahun
Humnawa Main Bhi Koi Gul Hun Ke Khamosh Rahun
Jurrat Aamoz Miri Taab-e-Sakhun Hai Mujh Ko
Shikwa Allah Se Khakam Badahan Hai Mujh Ko
Ae Khuda Shikwa-e-Arbab-e-Wafa Bhi Sun Le
Khugar-e-Hamd Se Thora Sa Gila Bhi Sun Le
INNOCENCE, SUBMISSION, FAITH, PATIENCE, GOODNESS, PURE, the most used words we as humans use to show angelic attributes. We, on the other hand, are INSAAN , pure yet impure. We aren't innocent; we aren't submissive and surrender mostly to our nafs. We use faith in bliss and in adversity we leave the faith and even our being Muslim is at stake.
We are molvis with Quranic verses on our lips, and in our heart, we seek imaan only to show off. We are people with great Islamic posts on facebook, yet our feet surrender to take us to just one sajood. Iblis skipped one prostration and how many we skip?
Arrogance is what we have. Just some money does wonder. We spend money to build a masjid but never spend some time to pray to whom it was meant to be built for.
For people seeking goodness, this Duniya is meant to break you. It ain't your mother to care for you and that even if you are angry she will not come to make things right. It will shatter your very existence.
You will see people with jealousy, with pride, people with ulterior motives, people planning against you. Mostly you will see people as a foe in a friend of you. 
Where are the times when Imaan was at the zenith, when people loved you for the sake of Allah?
Now we see hell even before.
There are guys with girlfriends commenting on girls uploaded picture that she is characterless.
There are people dividing people between casts talking of Prophet & Islam in the masjid.
There are mothers giving the daughters the training to be a slave yet criticising the troubles she faced herself.
People are paying heftily for a wedding yet giving nill for sadaqah.
There are people with haraam earning doing durood najaat for their entry to a new house.
We are hypocrites; we love Allah for sake of this Duniya and yet keep shaytan alive for our nafs.
Ya Allah where are You. Don't you see this injustice?
Don't you see how we do wrong?
Thi To Maujood Azal Se Hi Teri Zaat-e-Qadim
Phool Tha Zaib-e-Chaman, Par Na Preshan Thi Shamim
Why is goodness not befitting in this Duniya
Why are intentions neglected?
Why is money worshipped, why is glitter preferred
Why are people biased
Why Ikhlaaq, Imaan, Khulus are sidelined.
Shart Insaaf Hai, Ae Sahib-e-Altaf-e-Amim
Boo-e-Gul Phailti Kis Tarah Jo Hoti Na Nasim
Ya Allah swt all I seek are answers from you. All I seek is Justice from you.
But surely this Duniya is unjust , it is surely an examination, a test to your values. It will shatter, break but will make you ready for akhirah. Toil, surrender and be in submission, for the promise of Allah is true. Don't please people, we were already thrown out from paradise. We are not of Allah, how come we will be of each other.
Kuch Jo Samjha Tau Mere Shikwe Ko Rizwan Samjha 
Mujhe To Jannat Se Nikala Huwa Insan Samjha.

Wednesday, 9 May 2018

THE MURDER CASE


Writing after a long time and writing about the most crucial scene in my life. Seems quite whimsical!
Well it may sound funny but the story is interesting.
Every morning of the adult starts with depression of countless dramas one sees in life, no doubt we all wake up and do the same routine we do for the past countless years. To me this monotone life is as boring as my subjects. We all need an escape.
So where was I, well the thing is my routine got changed that morning. Everyday i count my acne, or lament about my dark circles but this morning i got visited by someone at the corner. KANHAPIN, which had so many legs , more the number of achievements in my life.
The centipede or millipede which am not sure as my maths gave up to count the same, and all i could was to cry and shout deep inside my soul. Being an adult we are meant to be silent and mature.Since the centipede knew my intention, and since i couldn't comprehend its intention, i thought of a plan. A plan to kill.
My defense was very vague that time and i thought to make a move later. After i could make a plan to vacuum it up , i thought to consult the Islamic books to back up my plan. Shariah is important !
I googled up.
I found that these centipedes are active at night.This caused a mini heart attack already. I had to do something before midnight. I thought of mortin or getting a chappal and attacking it with that. From chappal i remembered how my mother always made it a point to beat me up and now I was about to make a same scene. Later that day while getting the bata chappal in hand (known for its durability) , i got a shock. The centipede was gone, and so was my soul. Where could it go !! 
Later that night i found in the water bucket , looking at me and my flop plan. Looking at me as if saying,"LOL".
I was angry and all could think was to empty the bucket in the wash basin. I thought of drowning it. With the increased water flow and it struggling, i lamented my conscience and so thought not to kill. But it was harmful and we are allowed to kill the same. The water flow increased and so my guilt. I stopped to see if it died. It was motionless and so I knew my plan worked. It died and so was i relieved. That night i slept peacefully.
The next morning following my same boring routine i thought to dump the dead body in the dustbin. The moment i saw the washbasin, i was again held up my shock and grief. The dead body was gone and so was I. Where could it go , or what if it was attacked my some other insect or animal. All the world zoology and Discovery Channel, Nat geo and all my nieces videos of animals flashed before me. I thought that whatever happened , happened good. Allah swt knew all and He must have disposed it off , due my weak heart to know i killed an insect. The day ended well and so i forgot my centipede episode. Later that evening eating mangoes and throwing the mango skin in the dust bin, i found the  centipede ALIVE dangling along the dustbin. I thought to scream , i thought of getting AK47, rdx or hydrogen bomb to dispose off this creature dancing in my dustbin. As soon as it crawled out, i got a stick and in my fit i thought to kill it with that. The centipede ran away inside my room and so my parents woke up thinking possibility of the thief or someone to kidnap me (i still laugh that how could anyone kidnap me !! ).
I got a good scolding from my parents and the centipede , well it would be roaming alive in my room in unknown corner about to attack me.
P.S I need someone to kill it !!


Sunday, 24 September 2017


Sab nai kaha padhai karlou aagay tabi bado gi
Kisi nai Zindagi kay asli imtihaan ka bataya kyu nai
Sab nai duniya ki tayari karai
Akhirat kya hae wo bataya hi nai
Sab nai kaha ladki hou shaadi karlou tumhay saharay ki zaroorat hae
Kisi nai apnay paer pai khada hona sikhaya kyu nai
Sab nai paisay ki tarji sikhayi
Kisi nai muflis ki gurbat dikhayi kyu nai
Sab nai kaha ki tum ladki hou sabr karna hae
Kisi nai ladkay ko ye bataya kyu nai
Sab nai duniya hi kamayi
Khuda kya hae kisi ko pata kyu nai
Sab nai darjay diay kisi ko aala kisi ko past
Khuda nai mujay banaya tumhay banaya
Ye barabari kisi nai batayi kyu nai
Sab nai khoobsurti dekhi pehnawa dekha
Kisi nai Iklaaqh daikhay kyu nai
Sab dusro kai aibh hi dekhtay gayay
Apni be-nimazi kisi ko dikhi kyu nai
Kamyabi hae nai unlogun ki jinki shaan hae rutba hae
Log tou gurbat mai bi jihaad kar letay hae
Jahad tou marna nai jahad nafs sai ladna hae
Ye ilm kisi nai dia kyu nai
Duniya ki har cheez ka jawaal hae
har mohabbat ka jawaal hae
bas akhir mai tum aur tumhara khuda hae
Phir humnay khuda ki mohabbat ki kyu nai

Saturday, 12 August 2017

OUR LIFE'S GREATEST LOSS


Silence is what I feel is more expressive of what I felt for long. The duniya has changed its essence. I wasn't in love with this duniya and neither I am now but sometimes I felt that this duniya had some meaning; sometimes it felt good. But not really now. 
To be clear of what am I talking about is this society we live in. What Allah swt wants from us and what we are doing. Corruption, Geebah , Show off  are some of the attributes we carry with us. We have takabur, we feel as if we own this duniya not knowing that the next moment could take us of all. We have left respecting elders, we feel independence means to empower the family even if parents come in the way. 
Iklaakh has lost the meaning and so has piety and righteousness. People will see your status background and money. One question I want to ask to all "We are all same and we are all made by the one Ar-Rahman , then why we look down on anyone? Did the Prophet pbuh taught us such? Did ALLAH swt order us such? Don't you know that you have to face Him ; that you will have to answer Him". 
Whosoever you are , how much status and wealth you have , your grave will be same as those of others and till you don't have Ikhlaaq you are nothing but a mound of sin in this duniya. 
In the Quran, Allah swt says, "Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you” (49:13). At another place in the Quran Allah swt clearly states that all humans are equal: “To whoever, male or female, does good deeds and has faith, We shall give a good life and reward them according to the best of their actions.” (16:97).
Hazrat Bilal R.A was a slave and people didn't honour him before but in Islam his status rose. He became the first Muezzin. Islam honoured him and Islam honours people. Even if one is crippled, poor, paralysed, ugly or even if one is a sinner, everyone is beautiful, everyone is equal. 
Women back at the time of Prophet were most prosperous. They were warriors, businesswomen ,traders. They were more than equal. Umm ‘Umarah RA with other twenty women took part in the Battle of Khaibar. She, along with her two sons and husband surrounded the Prophet pbuh in order to ward off any attack on him. When one of the enemies attacked her she warded off the attack with her shield, pulled at the bridle of the horse to turn it around and plunged her sword into the horse’s back. The wounded horse fell, taking the rider with him and together she and her son finished off the enemy soldier. Such was valor of women in Islam and such was Islam back then.
Nowadays we can't even fight against our own Nafs , fighting for others is beyond an approach. We want others downfall more than we want our own success.
Sabr and Imaan meant much, simplicity was practiced. Marriage was simple for people checked Deen and Iklaaq. The first criterion one sees now is "Do you earn?". We have forgot that even if a woman earns in crores, a husband has to look after her and if a man has deen he has all one needs, for the Rizq is from ALLAH swt. 
Divorces back then were not looked down, Sahabas themselves made efforts to marry one to earn the reward of Allah. Women had more preference on Hijab and Haya. Now women spend so much time and money on their makeup little knowing that its not beauty that matters. Till you are not beautiful by heart, the makeup won't matter. Why to change your identity , even for marriage. Why to choose a husband who doesn't choose you as Allah swt choose you.
People were true to their words and so were true in their actions. Islam had its Fatah ; it had its victory in the hearts of people and in their Imaan.
Sahabas looked on each other and gave much in charity.Prophet Muhammad pbuh said, "Whoever relieves a believer’s distress of the distressful aspects of this world, Allah will rescue him from a difficulty of the difficulties of the Hereafter. Whoever alleviates one in dire straits who cannot repay his debt, Allah will alleviate his lot in both this world and in the Hereafter. Whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal (his faults) in this life and the Hereafter. Allah is helping the servant as long as the servant is helping his brother."
And what we are now?
Everyday when travelling , when our bus reaches the Awantipora shrine, I see a handicapped on the ground asking for money. My heart shatters when I see his bowl of money empty and people in Sumos and buses thronging to give Sadaqah to the shrine. Money goes more to rich and less to poor.
Kyu astaan parast insaan tujay gurbat nazar nahi aati
Kyu tujay akhirat yaad nahi aati
Kyu duniya mai itna ulja hae
Teri zaat to Khuda ki hae , tera wisaal to Khuda hi
Kyu tujay apni halath nazar nai aati
Kya yei Islaam hae kya yei musalmaan hou
Kyu tujay apni zaat nazar nai aati
Kaisay teri dua kabool hogi , Kaisay teri nimaz qubool hogi
Jab tujmay Imaan nai
Kyu tujay apni haar nazar nai aati

We have lost our akhirah for this duniya. This duniya is nothing but a beautiful illusion and we are here only to please Him.We owe nothing to this duniya. Let us all change ourselves before it is too late and let us all try to make our Qaum, a Qaum of Iklaakh. Let us seek ALLAH swt's help in bringing fatah to Islam and peace to our beloved Kashmir. Ameen

Thursday, 25 August 2016

OVERCOMING HOPELESSNESS

The greatest irony of life is that we loose "love" "people" "career" and we loose hope at times. The loss of hope being the greatest tragedy among all. From the life we always seek happiness and bliss , but then we have events and circumstances and people that take us back to despair. The biggest discouragements come from people , they say "you aren't in best of your career " "you don't have a job" "you aren't married yet" "you don't have a child" "you aren't pretty" "Just give up" "Just give up".
Well know that there are a billion people hungry today , a million will commit suicide this year ( one in 40 seconds ) , and their are millions of orphans, widows and divorced and yet there is no choice.
The world is the most hurtful place and its the love we seek most , love and admiration from parents and people around. Words can changes much , and it can either build you or destroy you.
The only option left is to have one thing and that is "FAITH". Here we seek a choice , the choice of which changes life. Either we can loose hope and quit or accept that whatever we have is enough for us and be thankful for that . Believing in what we cant see is the hope and know that "A SINGLE HOPE" and "A BELIEF IN YOURSELF" can change the way you are in right now.
Every human being has a value, and no one can value you like the way you set your value. In life "Money" , "Career" , "A big house"  isn't a success.
What if someone gives you 1 million dollars and by night you get to know your mother has died, will it still make you happy ?? No never. It is the love we seek and we crave more yet we devalue it more just to get along with this race of the world.
Everyday we have choices to see life, and to change it.
William Barkley said " There are two days in life that are important, the day you are born and the day you know why."
The truth is we all have a purpose , a reason , a reason to suffer and a reason to grow. That disappointments and failures will either make you strong or get you along a new direction. I know there are miracles everyday, for there is ALLAH and I have seen people who are blind getting their eyesight back, people who lost their loved ones getting new people to build the new recourse of their life, people who lost much still fighting and people recovering from the deadliest of diseases. Who brings strength in them ??? Who makes them move on ??? Who changes the circumstances ??? If not , they are real miracles which we don't see. Miracles do happen and you have to seek yours.
The wonder of this world is that nothing remains as such , time changes and so does the circumstances. When not even your body remains how could the problems you are facing be permanent ???
The things we most err including me
1. We worry more than we do to change them.
2. We seek happiness in others , yet don't seek them within ourselves.
3. We value people more than we value ourselves. Knowing that you are awesome in what you are is what changes a day.
4. We don't seek gratitude of the things we have but only whine about things we don't have.
5. We compare our lives and success with the people around and everyday we claim ourselves a failure with respect to someone.
6. We are slaves of our thoughts. Know that your brain is the biggest cage you are in and the thoughts are what keeps you enslaved to it. Though we can't control our thoughts but surely we can control how to react to them , know if thoughts say " you cant " just change your reaction " Let me try , there is a hope"
7. We don't believe in miracles, yet life is full of miracles , and they do happen if you believe.

When life is getting you down,
And you need a little hope.
Just look deep down inside yourself,
And you'll find the way to cope.

When life is getting you down,
And you need a little love.
Go to the person whom you are the closest,
As the rest they are above.

When life is getting you down,
Don't allow it so.
Change the way you think of life,
And life will be better, you know.

When life is getting you down,
 Take time to pray
ALLAH will send His miracles and make your day :)

Well about me I am just waiting for my MIRACLE :) In sha ALLAH


Wednesday, 10 August 2016

THE ORPHAN IN DESPAIR : KASHMIR

When one thinks of a beautiful thing, it fears the curse it will imbibe, the pretty face has some dark secrets and sometimes a blessing comes with a tragedy. The shikaras takes you to a memorable journey, the haughty mountains speaks of the tales of its strength , the springs all gushing into steams lullabies you into a slumber of peace and the chinar , with its leaves glooming on the boughs as a burning fire of untold vibes.
Everyone falls in love with the heaven on earth "Kashmir". But who falls in love with its sorrows?? Well no one. No one has ever understood it and no one has ever defined the cause well.
As known for its beauty worldwide it is also known for its long abated conflict i.e. The Kashmir Conflict and most have misunderstood it. Most Indians claims it is a war between terrorists and army but is that so????

Kashmir has been like a wrenched pounding heart of a territorial dispute between India and Pakistan since the two nations gained their independence in 1947. Both claim one thing and i.e. Kashmir. In 1948 the then ruler of the princely state of Jammu and Kashmir, Maharaja Hari Singh, who was holding out for independence, acceded to India on condition that the state retain autonomy in all matters except defence, communication and foreign affairs.

The accession was provoked by the invasion of Pakistani raiders and an uprising of villagers in the western part of the state. But the fighting between India and Pakistan ended with only after U.N. intervention; since 1948 the ceasefire line has been monitored by the U.N. Military Observer Group on India and Pakistan (UNMOGIP). The far northern and western areas of the state are under Pakistan's control; the Kashmir valley, Jammu, and Ladakh are under India's control. U.N. resolutions calling for a plebiscite to determine the final status of the territory have been rejected by India, which claims that because Kashmiris have voted in national elections in India, there is no need for a plebiscite. Pakistan maintains that a plebiscite should be held. Several of the groups wanting freedom in Kashmir (called militants) have also called for a plebiscite but argue that an independent Kashmir should be an option.

On July 2, 1972, India and Pakistan signed the Simla Accord, under which both countries agreed to respect the ceasefire line, known as the Line of Control, and to resolve differences over Kashmir "by peaceful means" through negotiation. The Simla Accord left the "final settlement" of the Kashmir question to be resolved at an unspecified future date. Since then, the Simla Accord has been the touchstone of all bilateral discussions of the Kashmir issue, even though the accord itself left the issue unresolved.

India's efforts to manipulate elections in Kashmir and suppress dissent have marked Kashmir's history since 1948, but it was not until 1986 that discontent within the state found wider popular support. In that year the state's ruling National Conference (NC) party, widely accused of corruption, struck a deal with India's Congress Party administration that many in Kashmir saw as a betrayal of Kashmir's autonomy.

On January 19, 1990, the central government imposed direct rule on the state. From the outset, the Indian government's campaign against the freedom fighters was marked by widespread human rights violations, including the shooting of unarmed demonstrators, civilian massacres, and summary executions of detainees. With the encouragement and assistance of the government, some 100,000 Hindu Kashmiris, known as "Pandits," fled the valley. By May 1990, rising tension between Pakistan and India following the escalation of the conflict in Kashmir raised fears of another war between the two countries.

In late 1993, the All Parties Hurriyat Conference (APHC), an umbrella organization of the leaders of all the political and freedom fighting organizations fighting for independence, was founded to act as the political voice of the independence movement. However, rivalries within the APHC have limited its effectiveness. In the mid 1990s, Indian security forces began arming and training local auxiliary forces made up of surrendered or captured militants to assist in counterinsurgency operations. These state sponsored paramilitary groups have committed serious human rights abuses, and human rights defenders and journalists have been among the principal victims.

In May 1996, parliamentary elections were held in the state for the first time since 1989. Freedom fighting leaders called for a boycott, however, and there were widespread reports that security forces had forced some voters to go to the polls. During state assembly elections in September of that year as well, residents particularly those living in Srinagar and other cities also complained that the security forces had tried to counter a boycott by forcing some people to go to the polls. However, a large number appeared to have voted voluntarily. Following the election, the National Conference party formed the first state government since 1990. Farooq Abdullah, who together with leaders from the Congress Party had been responsible for rigging state elections in 1987, again became chief minister.

On May 11 and 13, 1998, India tested five nuclear devices, and three weeks later, Pakistan responded in kind. The tests ignited a firestorm of criticism around the world and triggered sanctions by both countries donors and trading partners. In the months following the tests, an upsurge in shelling and shooting by Indian and Pakistani troops stationed along the ceasefire line in Kashmir left over one hundred civilians dead. Following a the Indian prime minister's historic bus trip from New Delhi to the Pakistan border in February 1999, the prime ministers of both countries signed the Lahore Declaration in which they vowed, among other things, to renew talks on Kashmir and to alert each other of further arms tests. Following such a warning, on April 11, 1999, India test fired its long range Agni missile, and on April 14 and 15, Pakistan did the same with its long range Gauri and medium range Shaheen missiles. India conducted another ballistic missile test on April 16; the exchange again raised international concern about the prospects for an arms race on the subcontinent.

Kashmir has always been under the drag of power, while both India and Pakistan stand for their dominion , Kashmir still finds it hard to get the basic justice.
Parties to the Conflict

Central government forces operating in Kashmir include the Indian Army and India's federal security forces, the Central Reserve Police Force (CRPF), and the Border Security Force (BSF). The army's role in the conflict expanded in 1993 with the introduction of the Rashtriya Rifles, an elite army unit created specifically for counterinsurgency operations in Kashmir. The Rashtriya Rifles have been the main force in charge of counterinsurgency operations in Doda, Rajouri and Punch. As of June 1999, some 400,000 army troops and other federal security forces were deployed in the valley, including those positioned along the Line of Control.

In May 1999 India deployed thousands of additional troops to the Kargil region. The local Jammu and Kashmir policemen are generally not involved in counterinsurgency operations, largely because they are believed to be sympathetic to the insurgency. However, in 1995 the Special Task Force (STF) and the Special Operations Group (SOG), counterinsurgency divisions of the Jammu and Kashmir Police made up of non-Muslim non-Kashmiri recruits, including some former militants, were formed apparently to create the impression that the counterinsurgency effort had local support. These police forces frequently operate jointly with the Rashtriya Rifles.

Since at least early 1995 Indian security forces have armed and trained local auxiliary forces made up of surrendered or captured militants to assist in counterinsurgency operations. These forces, which function outside of the normal command structure of the Indian army and other security forces, nevertheless are considered state agents under international law. These groups participate in joint patrols, receive and carry out orders given by security officers, and operate in full view of army and security force bunkers and camps. Some members of these groups are even housed in military compounds. They include Ikhwan-ul Muslimoon and Muslim Mujahidin.

1. "To put things slightly in perspective , when the United States attacked Iraq , it deployed 165,000 soldiers. For India it is 700000 soldiers for Kashmir "

With 2008 and 2010 uprising the state of Human Rights violations in the Indian Occupied Kashmir can be imagined from this factual report, which says that, there have been 93,274 deaths of the innocent Kashmiri from 1989 to June 30, 2010. Besides this alarming figure of open killings by its security forces, there have been 6,969 custodial killings, 117,345 arrests, destruction, and razing of 105,861 houses and other physical structures in the use of the community as a whole. The brutal security forces have orphaned over 107, 351 children, widowed 22,728 women and gang raped 9,920 women and young girls. In June 2010 only, there have been over 40 deaths including four children besides, torturing and injuring 572 people. The brutal Indian security forces molested eight women during this one month. By committing this much human rights violations so far, India is trumpeting its success in the Kashmir, which indeed, is the real cause of fresh uprisings. But who speaks of it no one.

2. National Human Rights Commission and the Jammu and Kashmir Human Rights Commission.

It has to ensure the victims and their families’ right to truth by involving the victim and their families at every stage of a Commission led enquiry, particularly if the complaint was filed by a third party and not the victim or their immediate family. It has to preserve the right of the family to choose whether to proceed with an enquiry and what information is placed in the public domain at all times. It never happened and all the custodial killings and disappearances of innocent people have been staged as a war of terrorists and army.

IRFAN GANAI CASE :

More recently, army authorities have refused to cooperate with police investigations in the case of 17 year-old Irfan Ganai’s death on 30 June 2013. Irfan Ganai was sleeping at his cousin’s house on the night of 30 June 2013 in Markundal village, Ganderbal district, when he and his older cousin, Reyaz, woke to the sound of gunshots outside the house. There had been a series of livestock thefts in recent weeks, so they went outside to investigate. “Irfan went a few steps ahead of me,” Reyaz recounted. “We didn’t see the army personnel that surrounded the house. Nobody’s lights were on, so we couldn’t see.”Suddenly, Reyaz heard a gunshot and saw Irfan collapse in front of him, blood seeping through his shirt where the bullet had hit him. He was dead when he hit the ground.

JUSTICE DONE : NILL

THE ZAHID FAROOQ SHEIKH CASE :
“We will fight as long as we can. As long as the courts allow us to appeal, we will appeal over and over again, even if it takes another decade.”
Farooq Sheikh, father of 16-year-old Zahid Farooq Sheikh, who was killed by security forces in 2010.

JUSTICE DONE : NILL

THE JAVAID MAGRAY CASE :
“If the Army knew they would be charged, and will have to go to court and be prosecuted, they will think ten times before they pull their triggers on an innocent.The AFSPA is a like a blank cheque from the government of India to kill innocents like my nephew. He was only 17 years old.”
Mohammad Amin Magray, Uncle of Javaid Ahmad Magray.

JUSTICE DONE : NILL

THE PATHTRABAL CASE :
“The night they took my father, I was sleeping upstairs. I remember hearing the army personnel barge in and ask for someone to show them the way through the fields. My father was not very well, so I ran downstairs and offered to show them. But the army officer said: ‘No, don’t take him, the children are too young. Take the father.” Abdul Rasheed Khan, son of Juma Khan, who was allegedly killed in an extrajudicial execution in 2000.

JUSTICE DONE : NILL

And their are thousands of such cases which were not even talked about, Kashmir has been crying for help for more than 3 decades and there is no one to hear. Healing touch , monetary establishments and jobs , electricity wont suffice to what it has faced and is still facing.

2016,with Burhan Wani's killing , thousands marching his funeral and a month unrest with 60 killings and more than 4000 casualties shows what Kashmir wants , it wants to be free of atrocities , free from being caged , free from being abused.

People have lost families, lost their sons , daughters have been molested , and people are blinded. The harm of soul has made us dead and in our pain , there is no one to hear the screams , the screams of HELP, the screams of freedom from the cage. To me I don't want INDIA , I don't want PAKISTAN , I don't want anyone's dominion as I want JUSTICE. If INDIA claims that Kashmir is an integral part of it , then why kill innocents , why have draconian laws like APFSPA , why blind people, why torture students ??? Where is Humanity ??? Alas Humanity died.


I whispered shadows that what if you feel the pain and why did you leave the despair of life
the shadow said that my body left me it was pelleted it was torn and bruised , I left it but alas I am not more in gain
I wander to see if am alive , I wander to see a soul
but no only dead , only corpses and only the life death bargain
...
I hear the screams of mothers , I hear the pain of trauma who listens though for the people has now even ceased to complain.



Thursday, 9 June 2016

TAWAKKUL


If we metaphor the life, it is no more than a roller coaster ride. What I mean is that life is a combination of both blessings and bad things. It has ups and downs, sometimes it feels right and sometimes it doesn't. We cry and then afterwards we rejoice and then finally we feel guilty that why we had cried in the very first place.

To me every belief has four phases i.e. tabeer, tadbeer,  takdeer and finally tawakkul.

We are tested in this duniya and we are tested with joy, blessings and hardships but what defines our imaan is how we have tabeer of the things, how we rely on tadbeer , how we believe in takdeer and finally how much tawakkah we have and these are crux of handling every situation we are in.
I recently had a dream of fishes in water and it was strange to the fact that new fishes were eating the older ones and the process continued.
Dreams as we know have tabeer . From the tafseer of  Mohammad Mustafa al jabaly the fishes represent wealth but talking of  the tabeer of the dream I thought it may have meant that whatever is in present will be changed by future. (I was lately sad that things were not working out for me)
Well that made sense. In life everything is decreed and even though there are good times but there are bad times too but what matters is that how we see both, if things are good we must not be proud and if things doesn't work out we must look it as an opportunity to see and renew our thoughts for new and better things.
The best part of the dream was that there was no change at all , the number of fishes remained same.
Same is the case with our life , worries don't leave and even if old worries end (like old fishes eating the new ones ), new ones will be born and at the end it wont affect our life , cause worries wont leave but what will leave is our time in worrying.
So what affects life, well that is our belief.
Talking of the next phase is tadbeer, a plan that affects life in different ways.
We plan as humans for our studies, for our job and what not. The best of maakareen (planners) is ALLAH swt (khairul maakareen)

And [remember, O Muhammad], when those who disbelieved plotted against you to restrain you or kill you or evict you [from Makkah]. But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners. [Surah anfal]

The tabeer is the knowledge you have but tadbeer refers to the knowledge ALLAH swt has.
You think that something is good for you but actually it isn't and you think something is bad for you but that is actually good for you. The knowledge of the things of this world and in the Akhirah is known to ALLAH swt and He knows what is good for you and He knows when will that happen. The sabr is the epitome of the tabeer, if you know ALLAH swt plans best , then have sabr and know that when time is right , things will work out the way that is good for you.
From the dream I thought it was wrong for the fishes to eat other older fishes , but do I know the best ( well no ). The tadbeer of the dream was to keep the balance in the pond (for the number of fishes to remain the same , and for the older ones to reach their fate), just like bad and good things balance our life.
The next phase takes us to takdeer
Takdeer is destiny that how things will work out and that all is in the hands of ALLAH swt.
The fate of all is pre decreed, even the food that enters the stomach of long lost birds who don't know of their provisions.

Hadith: Umar bin Khattab said: I heard Muhammad pbuh saying, "If you all depend on Allah with due reliance, He would certainly give you provision as He gives it to the birds who go forth hungry in the morning and return with full bellies at dusk." (At-Tirmidhi)

In that dream if we see in the pond, no provision of food or anything was there but still the fishes were alive, they lived from the lives of older fishes (that was their provision , and that was their takdeer )
Finally the supreme form of imaan is tawakkul. Tawakkul is belief and trust that all lies in the hands of ALLAH swt. Tawakkul is the belief on ALLAH swt's tadbeer, it is the belief of trusting that the plan and knowledge of ALLAH swt is supreme.
It is what Moosa A.S had when there was sea in front of him and the soldiers of pharaoh were behind him and he put trust on ALLAH swt and ALLAH swt made a way for them.

"And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out, And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion."
(Surah at-Talaq 65: 2-3)

I used to think that tawakkul was making dua for good to happen in your life and expecting good to happen with certainty (no matter how uncertain the situation may be).  I now realize that tawakkul is a belief , a belief in the Grand Plan of Allah swt and that, in the worst times of your life when you think you have been abandoned, when you are tested, tawakkul is to also believe there is good in the test that you are going through, and even that test is a mercy of Allah swt. Remember Allah swt loves you more than your mother does and, although you cannot imagine doing this, one day you will thank Him for giving you that test because through it you gained so many blessings.

“And Allah is predominant over His affair, but most of the people do not know.” Qur'an(12:20)

Tawakkul is what our beloved Prophet Hazrat Mohammad pbuh had when his own people denounced him and even then ISLAM rules as the second most predominant religion now.
Tawakkul is what Hazrat Yusuf A.S had when he was left in well , abandoned by his brothers and he still found a way to meet his beloved father.
Tawakkul is what Moosa A.S mother had when she put him in water , but still she got back to her son.
Tawakkul is what Hazrat Abraham A.S had when he had to abandon his wife and son in desert without provisions, and still he saw them alive and well after a long time.
Tawakkul is the belief that my soul , my existence is by Allah swt to whom I have to return , that all my matters are in HIS hands , the best planner and that whatever happens , happens for good.

Do not cry for the agonies, come trust in Allah
For know that crying about the misfortunes is a great error.

Find misfortune’s sender, and know it is a gift within gift, and pleasure.
So leave crying out and offer thanks; like the birds in their provisions .
If you find Him not, know the world is all pain within pain, transience and loss.
So why lament at a small misfortune while upon you is a worldful of woe
Come trust in Allah
Trust in Allah, Laugh in misfortune’s face; it too will laugh.
As it laughs, it will diminish; it will be changed and transformed.
Know that starry nights in the clouds too transform in days of shine , know that
pain has end , know that life is healed by Allah's belief
Tawakkul is my imaan and my imaan is all the treasure I have

Monday, 6 June 2016

THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE

How to start up and write about the comedies I see everyday is a tough task indeed. Everyone is in depression and everyone is living as if being old, weak , lost human beings. What has happened to us.

Well because bhai sahib (or behan ji)  we THINK. We think so many things and so many absurd things and so many negative things that we almost kill ourselves in our imagination.
As I can quote "we die everyday in our imagination while forgetting the real life which indeed could be awesome if we learn how to live".
Where is the fault??? Well the fault is we are astray, we have made our lives so much dependent on technology that I consider living without air is possible nowadays but not without INTERNET.I consider a person strong , even a superman or a batman if he can live without internet. But no we have that chrat chrat in life which wont go, we do early morning salam to Facebook first and then to our parents. We are bound to Facebook, WhatsApp, Facebook messenger, Gmail messenger, twitter, instagram than we are bound to our responsibilities. The fact is we are dependent on people on social networks so much that if we don't get a reply we feel life ended. The number of affairs a kid has nowadays is more than the number of words he knows and that's the fact as soon he/she enters the crèche the very chrat chrat of live starts.

We are awake all night, we rarely sleep, we call our friends and they have the same story to say that kya yaar life is hell. Family relationships are nowadays only about money, kids get money from parents and parents are busy earning it.We are so hopeless that even if we achieve what we want we will still say am still not happy. A human is never satisfied and he will never be.It is just like a hunger , a hunger of fame, wealth , money , status and all are running towards this world like a beggar.
We youngsters are facing challenges of proving our worth, people with higher degrees are sitting with bobas and people with sifarish are earning in thousands.We are living a life of hell, while our life should be simple we have made it complex, people fill your minds with so much negativity that if they say you are a loser we too feel a loser in ourselves .

I can only say STOP, STOP just STOP living a life of hell.

The world is not meant for the things we are doing right now, and it was not made for the happiness, it is a struggle and everyday adds a new struggle to your life. I say yes my life is mess but Alhamdulillah I am perfect in my own mess.
The first thing is stop complaining and be thankful to what you have, people are buried and wishing a moment on this earth and yet you are alive and still you are not doing anything.
Be brave to handle your life and no one else will ease it for you, know that even your parents leave you at times and that is life.
You be dependent on anything else ALLAH swt and He will show you how dependency will make you suffer. Wake early , read salah ,ask forgiveness, give time to your family and know your worth. Allah swt has made us so much precious that we are called ashraful makhluqaat. He made angels bow to us. Masha Allah and still everyday we are degrading ourselves so much that I feel ALLAH swt would be laughing at us. As Iqbal R.A quoted Farishton sae behtar hae insaan banna magar lagti hae usmay mahnat zyaada.

We have lost our morals, we have lost how to respect elders, we have lost the value of trust and relationships and we are all busy seeking haram and then we still say why we are not happy. It makes me laugh at times.
Contentment wont come through money, status or your achievements it will only come when you have such ikhlaq that ALLAH swt is pleased with you, and when you are so much engrossed in pleasing ALLAH swt that people don't matter to you.

I know one thing don't sell yourself for the wishes of people, ALLAH swt has made you beautiful , praise yourself every morning. Help people and seek those who need your help, listen less to the negative people around and say to them "you said it cant be done and now see how it is done".
Be your favourite and  know only you can understand your worth. Work hard and expect less even if you have thousands of failures don't let that be part of you quitting. Quitting is more dangerous than failures. You know how people are successful???

Because they never quit and they accepted failures, they too started from zero and that's the thing that needs to be realized. Leave all the things that are source of your sadness and seek those who make you happy and who know your worth.
Trust me this world aint easy but say to it TRY ME.

THE ENIGMA OF FATE



Life as we know is all about fate and from the very beginning we have seen life working as per Allah’s will. But the question is if all is destined then what are we here for? How much is destiny and how much is our free will? Are we living the life as per Allah’s will and if that is so then why will we be questioned in the Akhirah?? Why do we pray and what is the concept of the dua. Can dua change the takdeer if it is already written?

The questions still continues that why is that some are blessed and some are not? Why is that some are having tough life while some don’t have much troubles in life.Allah swt has written our fate in Loh e Mahfouz and whatever we turn into may that be good or bad is also predestined.

Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah , the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets.[ surah Baqarah 2: 177] Indeed, all things We created with predestination. [ surah Qamar 54: 49]

This takdeer, dua, fate, destiny, will paradox is much complicated than Schrödinger’s cat. In Schrodinger's cat paradox we know that we have the conclusion that either the cat is alive or dead but in life we are having different scenarios where we don’t know how much is our destiny and how much is our free will.

To start up let me start with our course of life. As we are born we are being raised by our parents and our parents are our first school. We learn from them, we learn good and we learn bad. But is this what makes us good or bad?? Well no sometimes good parents have bad children and sometimes bad parents have blessed children. So fate is not determined by our upbringing. So what determines the fate?? Well again as we move on with life we get our friends and our friends make most of our lives part .As we are so are our friends. But what kind of friends we get is this also destiny or our will. The next phase is our spouse and what kind of spouse we get we don’t know. Sometimes marriages are successful and sometimes it ends up with divorce. Same is the case with our career and job. So the life as we see is unpredictable.

Well let me slap you, and if I slapped you and you will definitely claim that why I did so and yes I will say it was destined and it was all Allah’s will and not my action. Will you agree??? Well you won’t because deep down you know that it had my intentions too . ALLAH swt has given us free will like jinn's but our will is subject to Allah swt's will, it is ALLAH swt has pre knowledge of what will happen. He knows all but what we do is our free will which is subject to ALLAH swt's will.

You cannot will except as Allaah wills.(Soorah al-Insaan, 76: 30).

The world saw its beginning with Hazrat Adam A.S and Allah swt made him dwell in heaven. But iblees (the Satan) got jealous and made him eat the forbidden fruit.  ALLAH swt had the knowledge of this sin and ALLAH swt had already made the duniya for that. But here Hazrat Adam A.S knew that his intentions too were involved (though provoked by iblees ) and for that he repented in this duniya. He didn't say that it was destined and I shouldn't be punished. Iblees on the other hand was engulfed in arrogance and claimed that ALLAH swt shouldn't have made him bow the one made from clay. This makes the difference if we submit our will to the will of ALLAH swt , we are blessed while if we don't we are astray. In life ALLAH swt tests and puts us in trails and tribulations and what we will do is all based on our intentions but of our intentions and our will ALLAH swt has all of the knowledge (which is predestination).

And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know." [ Surah baqarah 2 : 30]

In life Allah swt has given us options to work. Now you can ask what options.

In our daily life we see that our actions are more or less affecting our destiny. Like our spouse as Allah answers in Holy Quran that for good men there are good women. If we are good we will get likewise so if we make ourselves into a better character we will get a better character but that too is subject to ALLAH swt's will. Sometimes you don't get someone who feels right for you , and sometimes you get the bad spouse. It is ALLAH's plan and knowledge and we as humans cant get to the fact that what , why and how that happened.  Rather than thinking about these things we must know whatever happens , happens for good.

No servant of Allaah will truly believe until he believes in the good and evil of  Qadar  and until he knows that what has befallen him could not have missed him, and what missed him could not have befallen him.[ Sah eeh Sunan at-Tirmithee,  no. 1743]

Misfortunes are trials and every trial is a way to get close to ALLAH swt , sometimes we have a trial in the form of marriage, trial in job , trial in health and these all are ways of ALLAH swt getting close to us and that is the greatest blessing.

Surat Ash-Sharh [verse 6] - Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

So Allah plans and his plan is best and our actions are subject to His plan. It is as how we will work will lead our destiny. No doubt there is a secret or divine help from Allah but it comes only to those who work for it as Allama iqbal rightly said “Khudi ko kar buland itna ki har takdeer sai pehlay khuda banday sae khud poochay bata teri raza kya hae”.

Now what is the dua and does it change the destiny. Yes it does and our dua has the ability to give us what we have asked for. But here also Allah sees if it is beneficial for us, he gives what is best and the duas which are not accepted become source of our deeds in Qayamah.(Masha Allah).

So let me conclude that ALLAH swt knows all and we as humans cant presume on takdeer for our knowledge is limited. We should submit our will to ALLAH swt for this is what ISLAM stands for. Let us focus to win the Akhirah for this duniya is only a test and seeking destiny, takdeer or happiness in this place wont suffice till we plan on gaining the Akhirah.


MY UMRAH



It has been a year since my umrah and never along this time I could write about how the journey was and how was its experience. The words are so many but the emotions are tough to be expressed.
We all know Allah swt gives us trials and sometimes He gives us the blessings and if we look closer the trials which we face are actually the hidden blessings.
The day was ending December 2014 and there was a blessing standing in front of me. I had to perform Umrah and my parents were accompanying me.
I all along the journey saw new customs and the life was altogether surrounded by our deen. People in cars with tasbeeh, all along praising ALLAH swt and I was there witnessing all kinds of miracles.
We reached the Holy city at midnight and the first thing I heard was the ADHAAN and to be honest it shook my existence for the voice was beyond mesmerizing. I was held by mama and abu and with the crowd all around I kept thinking of the dua I would say on my first glimpse of the HOLY KAABA. One would not believe that the moment I saw it the only thing I could remember were my sins. I cried  for the sins ahead of my eyes. I cried that OH ALLAH my sins are many and still you made me enter this Holy land. Ya ALLAH how could you bless me so much, YA ALLAH forgive me, for my sins are many, Ya ALLAH forgive me.
I saw people crying and asking forgiveness, crying their pain and asking for the blessing.It is a human weakness that even if he claims he is fine there are pains and sorrows beneath the smile. I never had seen my abu, my mamma crying so much. Wallah the moment was divine. I did the tawaaf for the first time and all along I felt as if there was a guidance in every path, I saw the dark sky up ahead and I knew that ALLAH swt was seeing me and he was seeing me taking the steps to what HE ordered hundreds of years ago.

The aab e zam zam took my thirst, the steps towards safa marwah took my pain. The salah I had there, I never had such salah ever before. I felt peace and contentment. The peace I search everyday but I don't get the same peace. I saw the mountains and saw them again and again for these mountains were witnessed by our beloved PROPHET pbuh. The mountains so blessed indeed.

After the nimaz abu and mamaa took me towards babul salaam gate As we walked along, mamaa showed me the hamaam of men and said it once was the house of abu jahal (an ibirat for the wrongdoers).

At the end was the blessed house that once our beloved Prophet lived in ,which is now made a library so that people wont consider it as place of worship.The time was of khuftan (late night prayer) and all were looking inside but I kept looking at the stars and I thought maybe some angels might be there and maybe they might be guarding the place. It was as if I wanted to see the miracle and yet I felt miracle wasn’t anywhere else than in front of me and I felt no cold and the breeze there brought peace,the breeze that felt was reading the tasbih.Masha Allah.

We went back to hotel and as we walked we checked the market place. All the shops had prayer rugs, abayas and the prayer hats and it was as if this place was only meant for the submission to ALLAH swt, the lights glittering across and the people heading for prayers.Our hotel had mostly Indonesian people and our room was at 8th floor, the trip to that room was even more interesting, people of varied cultures in the same lift heading for the same destination. The Indonesian government pays to the pilgrims and makes the umrah more affordable than the rest of the countries,so it was as if more Indonesian people formed the crew of pilgrims. After dinner we slept and it was the most peaceful sleep and by the late night we had to head back to HOLY KAABA for the beautiful tawaaf and the tahajud.

My mother never missed early morning tahajud and fajr and she was very particular about that. Papa and me had to hear scolding's everytime for waking up late, and the late waking up there was 3 am. The early morning had indeed the magic and moreover there was no time early or late. Every time people made the tawaaf and only during the nimaz tawaaf stopped. One of the uncle I met during the blessed journey (may Allah bless him) asked me that why we make the tawaaf in an anticlockwise direction. Though it was every time I saw and even I did the tawaaf I had no answer.

Let me question you people that is why we do tawaaf anticlockwise???

That time there were huge number of people all praising Allah and doing the tawaaf clad in mere white cloth and papa said it was because the month was of rabbi awwal (the month of birth of our beloved prophet).
All along there was not a single moment when I felt that I was being dragged along, I felt as if I was walking a peaceful journey amidst the crowd and amidst the huge gathering. While walking I saw  birds doing the tawaaf like they knew it and like they knew it was to be done anticlockwise...the view bought so many thoughts ahead of me that yes all the living beings are divinely connected and yes the surroundings give us the indication that there is ALLAH, the one who created all...as we know from surah ar rehman kis kis naemat ko jhutlao gay ( of what of the bounties of ALLAH you will deny of ??? the bounties of prayer and the bounties of emaan.

Soon my papa said that he wanted to touch the hijr e aswad (the holy stone from heaven that takes all of your sins as you touch it).That area was the most crowded and it felt impossible. We drew closer and closer and reached the muqaam e Ibrahim. I touched it and again I felt as if my existence was a miracle and right there I saw the imprint of hazrat Ibrahim’s feet, the view was amazing for people all around in white were prostating before it the nafal rakah.As we reached to the hateem (hijr e ismaeel) I was dragged by a Palestinian lady and she made me offer the salah inside it.

The salah there is equal to the salah read inside the HOLY KAABA.I could not stop my tears for indeed I never deserved this. I never deserved to be among those people who were witnessing the miracle, the miracle of being in a place which was blessed by Allah swt and our beloved prophet pbuh. Wallah I felt as if I was seeing a miracle, especially the time I touched the HOLY KAABA.We got more closer and i could see papa moving ahead to touch the holy stone but that moment he reached just close but couldn't touch it, he missed it but back during Haj he claims and yes indeed he did touch that.

As the day ended we headed back to our hotel as the next day we had to travel to the places of mount Arafat and gaar e hira.It is place where our beloved prophet pbuh received his first revelation. We then headed to jab le noor, and it was said that at this place our prophet pbuh stood from fajr till khouftan and cried in istighfaar ( masha allah ).What it would have been we only could presume, even if I imagine it I cry a thousand sobs.The next day we had to travel to the city of peace.....al madinah...it was a travel from mekkah to madina...just like the hijra which our beloved prophet pbuh did hundreds of years ago.

As the hijra of our journey started I felt a calmness in me and so was everything around, we reached madina by night and it was all cold as compared to the climate in mekkah.We got our room and as luck our room had a small space of connection to the veranda as you can say and the view of whole city, it was a dream space.We had our dinner and laban (the curd) and headed to masjid e nabwi , and during fajr we headed inside the masjid e nabwi to have the glimpse where our beloved prophet pbuh is buried ( may Allah bless his soul and bless him and bliss him  till eternity) ,that time all the women of all the ethnicities were waiting around, the crowd in immense, to have one gaze,the graze of which took my breath away.We had salah on the jannatul baqi ( the rug from heaven) there.

During the next days we had the cold phase associated with the journey to masjid e quba and masjid e qiblatein. Of the masjid e quba it is revered to be the first masjid to be in existence and one salah there is having the same ajar as that of one umrah (masha allah). The masjid e Qiblatein was referred to be of more than one qiblaah one point of time when the qibla was still Jerusalem( where now stands Masjid e Aqsa) and not Masjid e Haram ( holy Kaaba).

The moment that made my life was when we travelled to maidan e uhad where the muslim first war ( jang e uhad) took place, and the moment I saw the place where Hazrat Hamza is buried ( the place without any dome or any stone for a reference), I saw it stood as lonely as a human life.It showed me how we are here, travellers and how this life has no importance lest we understand and lest we repent.

We headed back to miqat of medina called dhul hulaifa for our next umrah back to mekkah.We  reached back on Friday and that was our last day of stay, we did umrah and headed towards final tawaaf , tawaaf e vida and that tawaaf was my last tawaaf and a last view of holy KAABA.
In the last view I just realized that I don't want to go back , that I want to stay there and ask forgiveness for my whole life, that I am being separated from my soul, that this place brought me peace, that I want to die here, that I found my ALLAH.

To write about the experience in mere words is unjustified and beyond my scope, I hope I did some justice,errors if any accepted.May Allah swt bless all and bless all muslims and bless them to perform the haj and umrah before they die.

AMEEN

THE ODDS OF A KASHMIRI

Why is it funny to live in Kashmir. Every morning I wake up, I think of my life and how I am still lazy and still a winner in all ...